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KIDS IN CHURCH > > A little boy was overheard praying: > > ‘Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. > > I’m having a real good time like I am.’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > After the christening of his baby brother in church, > > Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. > > His father asked him three times what was wrong. > > Finally, the boy replied, > > ‘That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, > > And I wanted to stay with you guys.’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > One particular four-year-old prayed, > > ‘And forgive us our trash baskets > > As we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they > > Were on the way to church service, > > ‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’ > > One bright little girl replied, > > ‘Because people are sleeping.’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,**** > > Kevin 5, and Ryan 3 > > The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. > > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. > > ‘If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, > > ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’ > > Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, > > ‘ Ryan , you be Jesus !’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A father was at the beach with his children > > When the four-year-old son ran up to him, > > Grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore > > Where a seagull lay dead in the sand.. > > ‘Daddy, what happened to him?’ the son asked. > > ‘He died and went to Heaven,’ the Dad replied. > > The boy thought a moment and then said, > > ‘Did God throw him back down?’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A wife invited some people to dinner. > > At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, > > ‘Would you like to say the blessing?’ > > ‘I wouldn’t know what to say,’ the girl replied. > > ‘Just say what you hear Mommy say,’ the wife answered. > > The daughter bowed her head and said, > > ‘Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?’ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > And if you don’t send this to at least 8 people —– who cares! > > Peace, love and happiness > > This is a Thomas Kinkade painting. It’s rumored to carry a miracle! > > They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle..**** A young boy went up to his father and asked him what the difference was between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’.
So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!” The boy then went to his sister and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The girl replied, “Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?” The boy then went to his brother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” “Of course,” the brother replied. “Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?” The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, “Did you find out the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?” The boy replied, “Yes, ‘Potentially’, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but ‘realistically’, we’re living with two hookers and a future congressman.” Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding.
During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.
That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, ”Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me..!”
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge.
“Harder!” yelled Camilla, “Harder”.
Charles yelled back: ”I’m trying, darling! But it’s just so bloody tight!”
“Come on! Give it all you’ve got!” she cried.
Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, ”There! Oh, God, that feels so good!”
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, ”See! I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!”
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, “Oh, God, darling! This one’s even tighter!”
At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, “That’s my boy! He served in the Navy: once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!”
See if you can solve this one. Facial expressions are an important part of the respected Mayo Clinic psychometric test. In the following pictures you see women with a range of facial expressions. Study the expressions, and try Then scroll down to see the answer.
They
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